[Bloggers Note: When I first started this piece I had every intention of a different direction. But as differing versions of this came about, with pieces being added and deleted, the story becoming longer and then shorter, I realized that this was more than just something I could fit in just one column. And instead it has become a journey…one that I want to impart with those who have shared my life in one form or another. I hope this new direction will be as refreshing for you as it has been for me to plan.]

The Footprints You Leave

It is the time we all dread as human beings. When someone you love is nearing the end of their life and we face the prospect that, like many before us have, we must think about life without them. It’s never easy and many handle it more gracefully than others.

It is said that in your last moments your life flashes before your eyes replaying like a fast forward version of a 3 hour movie. But what no one talks about is what happens in the minds of those you leave behind as they face the prospect of moving forward without you.

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I was sitting alone with my Father as he slept peacefully that hot August day in the room at North Kansas City Hospice. I had come back to Kansas City because my sister had called me to let me know that Dad wanted me to be there and because quite frankly I felt I needed to….not just for him, but also for me. It was one of those quiet peaceful moments that leave you the opportunity to think of the many things you want to say in those last hours of someone so important in your life.

As I looked out the window my mind drifted back to all the things my Father and I shared in common and what were our differences that so shaped our relationship over the years. Memories flood my thoughts of baseball games played and baseball games attended…..Sundays glued to the TV set watching our beloved KC Chiefs…..and the times we couldn’t agree.

Somehow in the middle of all these memories something came to mind that I had heard in a lecture in my youth that seemed to resonate for once in my life. The lecturer had created the image in our minds of our life journey being one that was both a walk on the beach and a hike thru the forest. In each case people come into our lives for various reasons leaving either a path that they join/lead us thru or the proverbial walk on the beach where we sometimes walk side-by-side and other times in their footsteps. In those moments I envisioned paths journeyed and walks on the beach my Father and I had taken and my thoughts were interwoven with both tears and smiles…from the smile on his face when I made my very first home run at 9 years old to the tears on our faces when he told me that it was time to stop fighting the ravages of cancer and live a life of quality not quantity.

In those last few days we both lived a lifetime of memories, walks and hikes, through our lives together. There are many things we said to each other those few days that I will forever hold in my heart, and I am confident that it was that time that allowed both of us peace in our hearts that we both seemed to be chasing throughout our life together.

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In the many months since my Father’s passing I have had moments where I pondered the impact others have had on my life and whether or not they fully understand how each has helped shape the man that I have become. I think many of us suffer from that malady….not out of a desire to be that way….just that we all believe that we have so much time to do it that “right now” it doesn’t seem important to do so. And also, quite frankly we don’t stop to think of the footprints we leave on others lives or the paths that we travel with those same people because we have become to live a life that sometimes is on fast forward. So, as a part of reminiscing on my life…the paths I have taken and the footprints that I am leaving and those that are left in my life by others….. I try to take time each day to think of those who have been in my life and those who are still helping shape me as a person.

So, it lead me to this quandary……and to another story I once heard of a man, who having lived his life thought about all who had helped him become the man he turned out to be. And how he felt the desire to let those people know what they had meant to him over the years. So he made a list, planned a journey and set out to see those whom he could. Along the way what he found was that not only had they changed his life, but in different ways he had changed theirs also, some good, some not-so-good.

With this story in mind I thought to myself….how many people whose paths I have crossed and have influence my life really and truly know what they have meant to me. The obvious ones are friends and family who are near and dear to my heart, some of whom are no longer with us. I’ve always wanted to mirror the journey of the aforementioned gentleman and thank those who may not know that a simple act of friendship changed the direction of my life. But knowing that I have a job to maintain, and a family to feed, how do I accomplish the same task?

So, what I decided instead is to take my journey in the easiest way I can….here on my blog and on Facebook. What my goal is, over the next few month/years, is to take time to thank those of you who may not know that you have left a footprint in my life that has not been forgotten. For some of you it will be a private message you might receive on Facebook, and for some it will a simple story here on my blog. For some it will be no surprise and for others it may come as a bit of a surprise how something small and simple to you made a difference to me.

I hope that in some way that I might even spark some of you to think back to those in your life who may not know how they positively changed your life……

So….those of you who are my Friends here, you might want to check your Messages off and on. You never know when you might get a message from a friend.